1:34 PM | link
Wouldn't it be ironic if the kid grew up and became a compulsive gambler?

(Here's the auction.)

11:34 AM | link
Snow White: The Heroin Years

(thanks, Claire!)

11:33 AM | link
"If you win the auction, I'll lend you my wife for a weekend."

(thanks, Nick!)

11:29 AM | link
"There's millions of cats in the world, now you can put them to good use."

(thanks, John & Mark!)

11:25 AM | link
World's Luckiest Shift Knob. No kidding.

(thanks, Friendly - and congratulations on surviving!)

11:17 AM | link
Because little kids love nothing more than playing with sharp hand tools.

(thanks, Kristi!)

11:11 AM | link
"The winning bidder not only gets a vegetable, but receives a true friend for life or until he rots away."

(thanks, Michael!)

11:09 AM | link
If you keep your money in this bank, will it multiply?

(thanks, LittlePuppykins!)

10:53 AM | link
Joann was a very "down-to-earth" person - right down to her perfume.

(thanks, Heather & Andrew!)

10:52 AM | link
4x4 Off-Road Hunting Buggy: Why bother with all that tedious walking when you can drive right through the woods in search of your prey?

(thanks, Don!)

10:51 AM | link
"Look Ma! I'm a fictional character in an unpublished book!"

(thanks, Soulman!)

10:45 AM | link
Somewhere in China, a factory worker is wondering what the hell is wrong with Americans.

(thanks, Carol!)

10:41 AM | link
It could be worse: Grampa's beard could still be attached to his body.

(thanks, Tara!)

10:34 AM | link
"Mommy, how come I don't have any brothers or sisters?"

"Well dear, you did sort of have a brother once... but we auctioned him off on eBay."

(thanks, Jerad & Candice!)

10:33 AM | link
M-I-C (Cook ya real soon!),
K-E-Y (Why? Because we're hungry!),
T-A-T-E-R!

(thanks, Rick & Lorilee!)

10:25 AM | link
So, uh, can I use these to shoot at things?

(thanks, Brett!)

10:23 AM | link
If nothing else, you'd have a built-in excuse for dancing poorly.

(thanks, Jennifer!)

10:13 AM | link
"This item is perfect for the vegan that loves animals but also craves their intestines."

(thanks, Karen!)