| Saturday, February 10, 2001 |
12:40 PM | link
Mmm ... troll porn.
11:41 AM | link
It just isn't fair -- no matter how hard we try, American women just can't compete with the allure of those exotic islanders.
11:35 AM | link
They can call it a pill-box hat all day long, but Jackie Kennedy never would've let that thing near her head.
11:30 AM | link
 It was a perfectly lovely neighborhood until that bully moved in and began terrorizing the little girls.
| Friday, February 09, 2001 |
6:12 PM | link
Aside from these dowels sticking out of my neck, Doctor, I feel fine.
(thanks, Matthew!)
4:07 PM | link
If these would fit in nicely with your decor ... well ... it's time to redecorate.
1:02 PM | link
 Delaware LETHAL INJECTION Execution MODULE
"This control module is the actual piece of machinery engaged by the executioner ... The on/off and function switches are key controlled to prevent accidental operation."
Least popular word to hear around lethal injection machines: "Oops."
3:07 AM | link
Low mileage. One owner. "These are three pairs of deer feet. I have seen them made into ashtrays, coat racks, and of course gun racks. I imagine there are other things that people make with them."
2:41 AM | link
You shouldn't have. No, really. Stumped for a unique Valentine's gift for your sweetie? How about this wad of 143-year-old human hair?
2:20 AM | link
If the picture doesn't scare you, the text almost certainly will.
2:11 AM | link
 From the esteemed author of How to Pick Up Girls comes this guide to modern-day romance.
(And if that guy can win the woman of his dreams, we'd imagine anyone can.)
2:01 AM | link
Nothing says "I love you" like a big bag of Cupid Poop.
1:43 AM | link
Now see, if Ahab had used a lure like this, Moby Dick never would've gotten away.
1:25 AM | link
"Double-knit" and "wardrobe" are words that should never be used together.
| Thursday, February 08, 2001 |
4:33 PM | link
 THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO DISCO DANCING
You know, sometimes the jokes just write themselves.
4:14 PM | link
Just think! Every time you check the time you can be reminded how tacky and tasteless you are!
3:52 PM | link
There are just some things that shouldn't be made of real fur.
3:48 PM | link
Having grown tired of those damned Beanie Babies, collectors turned their attention to more ethereal knick-knacks.
3:26 PM | link
 Despite being repeatedly doused with bug spray by complete strangers, Agnes loved her new mink hat.
2:30 AM | link
Play it backwards and you can hear George W. Bush asking "have you ever really looked at your hand?"
2:26 AM | link
Makes tellin' time more excitin' than seein' Daisy Duke in a wet t-shirt contest.
2:13 AM | link
Oh, tie a yellow ribbon 'round our necks while you're at it.
1:59 AM | link
 Personally, we think they look more like larvae.
1:01 AM | link
It's so good to see that those 70s porn stars had another career to fall back on.
12:54 AM | link
 Belly Button Brush w/ Case
"This is the PERFECT gift for that someone special in your life that has EVERYTHING."
Including, apparently, enough navel lint to require a brush. Ew.
12:51 AM | link
"The painting is so bad it's good. The more you look at him the more disturbing he gets. The tomato can I assume is a bait can (nice touch). I am guessing he is holding a hat in his flat, mitt-like paw. His ears are huge. But it's his eyes...they really bug me."
12:33 AM | link
Movie memorabilia collectors delighted in the discovery of Damien's teddybear.
| Wednesday, February 07, 2001 |
8:55 PM | link
 "This signed French necklace is over the top & wonderful. Definitely not for sissies." Nor those with weak necks.
8:50 PM | link
No mAttEr HoW yOu sPeLL iT, tHaT's sTiLL a REaLLy UgLy ToP, KaReN!!!!
8:42 PM | link
For an extra $5, I'll sit on the stylus! (No, not really...)
8:38 PM | link
Forget Thanksgiving, back-to-school, and the day after Christmas: the discount shopping event we've been waiting all year for is the ROOMATES SUCK SALE!
8:26 PM | link
Better bid on a larger mailbox while you're at it.
(Thanks, Christine!)
7:45 PM | link
If we throw in a little something extra, will they use their tongues?
7:18 PM | link
The only thing better than a magnet is a dangerous magnet.
6:39 PM | link
 "Bawk-BAWK-bawk-bawk- BAWK-BAWK-bawk!"*
* Trans.: "I am a bad-ass gigantic chicken. Can ya dig it?"
6:26 PM | link
We're not sure which fact is more troubling: that there were 84 episodes of Knight Rider, or that someone taped them all.
4:46 PM | link
Powerful enough to stop a speeding locomotive: We're assuming Superman uses only the best industrial-strength condoms ...
| Monday, February 05, 2001 |
11:12 PM | link
There's nothing that screams "high fashion" more than a couple of animal carcasses around your neck.
11:05 PM | link
We knew it was time to shut down the open-bar when the mother of the groom put the wedding cake on her head and began to dance.
| Sunday, February 04, 2001 |
11:43 PM | link
"Dammit honey, the frog ate my change again!"
11:41 PM | link
 "SERIOUS BIDDERS ONLY"
11:36 PM | link
Oh, you little blue tramp you!
10:57 PM | link
We could see Blair sneaking a puff every now and then, but Tootie? Nooooo....
(Punky Brewster, on the other hand, would often go through an entire pack during a single day's shoot.)
10:52 PM | link
 It wasn't so much the pastel Armani suits, exotic cars, or razor stubble -- what women REALLY loved about Sonny Crockett was his mathematical ability.
10:41 PM | link
"I own the entire collection of Miami Vice and it really helps!"
3:07 AM | link
Dept. of Unintentional Porn: "The fascinatingly sloppy, illiterate ravings of anti-gay extremist 'Dr.' Cameron feature more salacious descriptions of gay sexual encounters than you might find in the average issue of The Advocate."
3:00 AM | link
To all the men we've loved before ...
2:42 AM | link
20 yr-old Seattle boy's SOUL, hardly used
"My soul has been good to me, but after 20 years on this planet, i find i hardly use it anymore, and i'm hoping that it can be of benefit to someone else."
Well, since ours are surely going to hell in a handbasket, we could probably use a spare.
(thanks, Angela!)
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